After the Meeting: How to Ask Someone for Coffee

The chairs are folding up. Two people are talking by the door. You’d like a little company, but everybody looks as if they already know each other. This is a good moment for an ordinary invitation. “I’m walking to get coffee. Want to come along?” is enough.

Make an invitation you would enjoy accepting

Pick something small that you’re already willing to do. A Saturday walk around the block costs nothing. Ten minutes on a bench can fit before the bus comes. Give the other person a real choice: “I’ve got ten minutes before I head home. Feel like sitting outside?” You can ask one person quietly or offer it to the two people putting chairs away beside you.

If you’re the one who knows everybody, look around before you head out. There may be someone zipping up their jacket slowly while the rest of us talk. A simple “We’re walking over for coffee if you’d like to join us” leaves the door open. Give them time to find their coat.

When somebody says yes

You don’t need an impressive recovery story in your pocket. Ask a question you’d enjoy answering yourself. “What do you like doing around here on a Saturday?” might lead to music, fishing, a quiet beach, or the best cheap breakfast in town. Listen to the answer before thinking up the next question. You can enjoy the walk even if neither of you talks very much.

When somebody says no

“Good seeing you. Maybe another time” lets both of you leave comfortably. Someone may have a shift to get to or a kid waiting at home. Go ahead with your walk, say hello again next time, or ask whether the group needs a hand putting things away today.

One thing we can do this weekend: before leaving a meeting or another gathering, learn one first name and offer one small kindness. Keep anything personal you heard in the room private. If you want to find a gathering, our U.S. support guide links to independent meeting directories. If you already have a time in mind, put it on the free daily planner.