What does your Thanksgiving look like?
Choose the situation that fits your day. If you’re hosting, see how to welcome a sober guest, from what to offer at the table to how to handle drink questions.
I am going to a family gathering
Enjoy the part you came for. Choose an arrival time and a way home that does not depend on someone who may be drinking. Bring or request a drink you enjoy. Agree on a check-in with someone you trust if that would help.
Example: “I am coming for the meal, bringing sparkling water, and leaving around five. My ride is arranged. Afterward, I have a call and a film picked out.”
If the gathering stops working for you, you can leave earlier. The invitation does not require you to stay for the whole day.
I am spending the day on my own
Make it a day with a few things worth looking forward to. Pick a meal you actually want, an activity with a starting time, and a chance for contact. A short call, a familiar walk, or an album while you cook can give the day some shape.
Example: “At noon I will make my favorite sandwich. At two I will take a walk or listen to music at home. At four I will call a friend who has agreed to check in.”
Our U.S. support guide links to independent meeting resources. Check holiday schedules with the organizer before relying on a meeting.
I am hosting or staying overnight
You are allowed to simplify. Choose the drinks and food you want available, ask someone to share a task, and decide where you can take a quiet break.
Example: “I will keep sparkling water and tea ready, ask a guest to help clear the table, and step outside when I need a breather. Tomorrow morning starts with breakfast and a planned check-in.”
If you are a guest overnight, agree on transport and a place to take a break before you arrive.
A few words. No big announcement.
You choose how much to share. Keep a sentence ready so you do not have to invent one at the table.
When someone offers: “No thanks. Sparkling water sounds good.”
When someone asks why: “It is personal, but I am glad to be here.”
When they keep pushing: “My answer is still no. Let’s talk about something else.”
When it is time to go: “Thank you for the meal. I am heading home.”
You can repeat yourself, change the subject, take a break, or leave. For more examples, read how to say no to a drink without explaining your sobriety.
Put your plan somewhere you can find it.
Print this card, or copy the five prompts into your own notes. Fill in what fits your day; this page does not ask you to submit personal details.
My sober Thanksgiving plan
1. The part of the day I want to enjoy:
2. My drink and the words I will use:
3. Someone I can contact, and our agreed check-in:
4. My way home or a place to take a break:
5. What I will do afterward, including a smaller backup plan:
Examples and free tools: sobrietysystems.com/sober-thanksgiving-plan/
If attending does not feel right, you can decline and choose another way to spend the time. If you need more support, contact a trusted person, peer group, or professional involved in your care. A worksheet is one small tool.
Keep the useful part within reach.
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